¡Basta ya!

I remember a time when I thought that online comment sections under news stories would encourage the sharing of fascinating insights and common wisdom, and that social media would be such a force for good in bringing us together in community around the world.

Who WAS that stupid woman? She’s long gone now, though I do miss her optimism. She didn’t yet know that human beings are really quite awful and unstable when grouped by the millions into dangerous tribes brimming with hate and given free licence to say the most awful things about each other.

I’ve done a lot of reading over the years to try to understand human beings. It has given me more understanding at a scholarly level, I suppose, but I’m still pretty baffled overall. We are wild animals dressed up in the thinnest veneers of civility. We achieve greatness, then we tear it all down.

The blame for our increasingly outrageous ways gets apportioned depending on your tribe, of course. It’s the alt-right. It’s the woke. It’s the trans people. It’s the gun lobby. It’s the immigrants. It’s the people who vote for idiots. It’s the people who don’t vote. It’s media. No, wait, it’s social media. It’s the intellectuals. It’s the uber-rich.

It’s all of the above and about a thousand more, each simplistic belief to be embraced or despised according to what your tribe decides is the right way to think.

And each of us in our hard-walled camps are absolutely certain that whatever our tribe says is right must be absolutely, fully right. If somebody says it isn’t, then they are clearly the enemy, and must be openly loathed. Lucky us, we can now hate freely from the safety of our own social media feeds, full of other hand-picked tribal members just like us who can reinforce that our hatred is justified, and shield us with indignant and shaming replies to anyone who tries to say otherwise.

Can’t we all just get along? Apparently not. This was the conclusion I was left with after seeing the violent life of chimpanzees in the 2023 this-ain’t-your-momma’s-nature-doc Chimp Empire. Sure, they’re chimps, but with minimal difference between human and chimp DNA, it gave me pause. Their deeply tribal and warring natures ought to at least be a point of reflection for humans in these mad times.

More recently, I’ve been reading Robert Sapolsky’s super-sciencey tome Behave, which looks at human behaviours good and bad through a long, long lens that starts with the hormones and neuro-chemicals of the moment and goes all the way back through how the day was going, earlier life experiences, genetics, even ancient ancestral heritage. It talks a lot about which parts of the brain light up when this or that happens to us, and how those brain-level reactions can in turn shape longer-lasting changes in our behaviour.

What I saw in the findings was how very much alike we are to those chimps of Uganda. How we differ is that humans have (mostly) chosen to subdue the most anti-social of those behaviours in order to get along in a modern world that is neck-deep in law and policy requiring us to tame our wild chimpedness for the sake of civilizing principles like human rights, equity, and polite social engagement.

But when the social pact breaks down, as it certainly is right now, look out. Social media provides the means and feeds the flames, but the horrible behaviour is all ours. And it’s not just about the obvious stuff that’s clogging our news feeds and stripping away our civility, it’s more like a hate virus that’s spreading across all of us. It’s going to take us to a very dark place if we just keep piling all that hate up.

I’ve been told that podcaster Joe Rogan has talked about being similarly affected as I was by Chimp Empire. I felt non-plussed initially after hearing that, but now I feel almost cheered by it, thinking that he and I might actually have the basis for at least one enjoyable conversation together.

That’s where we’ve got to go if we’re ever going to end the hate-fest. We have to find things that we DO agree on, and talk about those things for a while. We have to get past the deep tribal lines we’re drawing around ourselves and remember that we’re a species that has to depend on each other for our survival. We don’t have to like each other, but we sure as hell have to figure out a way to co-exist.

If not, we’re headed for war. Every war throughout history starts just this way: Hatred; othering; elaborate justification for othering; lines hardening around who constitutes Us and who constitutes Them. And then comes a more frightening kind of hardening that prepares Us to do whatever it takes to get rid of Them.

I joked last week to one of my daughters that I was going to get a T-shirt made that said, “Everybody, shut the fuck up!” I wasn’t even really joking. We all think we’re on the side of right, but this much out-loud hatred can’t possibly lead anywhere good.

Whatever you believe about whatever hot-button issue has your back up these days, I ask you to consider whether you’ve ever been convinced to think differently because somebody threw hate in your face and shamed your thinking. It’s certainly never worked for me.

At the high-impact level of social media where we battle each other now, open displays of hatred are siren’s calls to those whose social veneers have worn thin. They are the drums of war. Each of us must make a conscious decision to not add to that deadly chorus, to muster every ounce of whatever makes us different from chimps and just…stop.

Take a deep breath and go engage with somebody surprising, someone you don’t usually talk with. Don’t ask them about Gaza, abortion, Trump, homelessness, trans rights, Charlie Kirk or climate change. Talk about stuff that nobody can hate – your summer vacation, your brother’s new business, your worry that your kids are never going to find jobs.

Or just stand beside them and breathe. Note that they’re breathing too. If that’s all you’ve got in common in that moment, good enough. We all just need some time to calm down.

Image: Elisa, Pixabay  

We call it luck. They called it planning

 

I was standing on the beach at Esquimalt Lagoon a couple of days ago, gazing out across the sea at the Olympic Peninsula and having that usual thought of how lucky I was to live amid such beauty.

But it isn’t actually luck, is it? It’s planning.

If the beach I was standing on happened to have been located in a different part of the world, it would very likely all be private property now, bought up by people who love the vista too but want it only for themselves.

Or it might be covered in garbage and plastics. Or reeking of raw sewage. There might be a factory on the shore, or uncontrolled industry spread across the landscape. Someone might have built a big casino there, or a 24-hour disco. There almost certainly wouldn’t be a protected bird sanctuary across from the beach, with nice paths in all directions and easy, safe roadside parking.

That none of that happened had nothing to do with luck. Virtually everything about my very pleasant experience at the beach that day directly tied back to the actions of previous generations, who understood their vital role in laying the foundation for a great community for decades to come.

That beautiful beach is there because generations of people born before me did the planning, rule-making, regulatory framework and enforcement to ensure it would be. The same can be said about so much of what we deem "lucky" about our daily lives, from the provincial parks that our grandparents invested in on our behalf to our sewage systems and storm drains, medicare, public housing, environmental protections, neighbourhood design, on and on. 

Now look at us. O Boomers and Gen Xs, what have we wrought?

The United States is the brutal example of the moment, where they’re actively tearing apart the planning of so many far-sighted Americans who have gone before while throwing a wrench into the plans of every country that used to trust them. We’re not there yet in Canada, but I wouldn’t for a minute suggest that we couldn’t be.

I still see many of our municipalities trying to do the right things. But their ability to do that is increasingly compromised by the strange and destructive politics we now have at the provincial and federal levels, and voting habits that have come to resemble a rabid audience cheering on their favourite WWF wrestler rather than anything to do with thoughtful consideration for the future.

And we’ve all got these teeny-tiny little spans of attention now. It’s not just flavour of the week anymore, its flavour of the hour. Social media has worsened that, but we were doing it long before there was social media. Old-style media has played the flavour game for decades, always feeding us new worries with no sense of responsibility for following up old ones.

Consider, too, the copious stacks of reports, commissions and special investigations packed with urgent recommendations that never go anywhere. That’s not just a problem of ever-mercurial political will, but because most of the public never thinks to read any of it, or ask what became of whatever issue was getting the scrutiny.

We once at least paid half a mind to having a stable, non-partisan bureaucracy, which would keep things going even while the politicized lords and ladies of the manor did their flips and cartwheels for votes.

But I’ve watched our own bureaucracy become increasingly politicized over the years. I know there are many good people inside our governments still trying to do their best, but how strange that some of them are actually having to hide their good work so that it can continue unseen while the insane, illogical political tides churn overhead.

At any rate, what’s going on in the US right now demonstrates just how quickly any entity dependent on public funding can be politicized, and that extends to the people working there. Most people are ultimately going to put saving their own ass ahead of upholding democratic principle.

If there’s a plan at any level of government extending even a mere five years into the future, you can bet that it will be fragmented, inadequate, terrifyingly politicized, and at constant risk of being fully abandoned. I hear us worrying about the future, yet doing so little.

We are the boiling frogs waiting for our governments to save us from the stove. But they’re locked up tight in their own weird stuff, and they’re not coming. I’m sure most of them got into politics for all the right reasons, but whatever inner reserves of pragmatism, passion and community ethos they had going in are gone in about 10 minutes when it comes to party politics.

Down here at the joe-average level, we are accustomed to thinking that systems are all around us to make sure our lives go smoothly. This is Canada, after all. That’s the Canadian way.

But then we fall into some new need – lose our jobs, have a major health crisis, have a child with special needs, grow old – and learn painfully fast that our systems for the most part are fractured, under-funded, and completely unprepared for a society so different than the one they were built for.

I saw this over and over again in my journalism years, and still. People reach out to me to tell me of this or that crisis that they’re in for the first time ever, and how outraged they are to discover that there’s no help for them. But where were they when all the other people were calling out desperately about their own crises?

Disasters small and large are happening all around us – no health care when we need it, toxic drug crisis raging on, wildfires burning, mountains and forests falling to development as we rush to build the next big housing development that nobody can afford to live in.

We are in a housing crisis because our governments pulled out of social housing and gave so much of the sector over to the investors, who seek only profit. We are in a social crisis because government after government cut services to suit their own political agendas and didn’t consider for a second how that would amplify and intensify social crises years on.

We have had 18,000 British Columbians die of toxic drugs not because the rate of use changed, but because the drugs changed and we just kept doing the same old same old. We don't have anywhere near enough support for elders who can't live independently anymore because we paid zero attention to decades of warnings about just such a crisis once the Boomers got old. 

We are in a climate crisis because we can’t get off the growth track, can’t stop ourselves from our insatiable consumerism, and tolerate political parties that have no intention of keeping the promises spilling out of their mouths during their election campaigns. We don't even expect them to anymore.

We gave away made-in-Canada hopes and family-supporting jobs for the allure of cheap goods made by countries who could do it for so much less. Now we posture furiously about having to buy our ferries in China, as if we haven’t been sitting in the front row for all these years while the death of manufacturing and the devaluing of trades happened in front of our very eyes as we clamoured for cheaper everything.

Visible and dramatic social decline in every community. Public school systems in crisis. The big-profit mongers all around us, expanding their global empires in ways that never work out in the common person’s favour.

It’s like we’re free-styling into a future that we’re pretty sure is no future at all, and that we’ve seemingly disconnected ourselves from caring about.

So yeah, lucky us to live in a part of the world that still looks like Eden and hasn’t yet been fully eroded by the carelessness and galloping greed of governance that serves only itself, and a disengaged populace that leaves them to it. But the luck’s running out.